Coaching is all about relationships, right?
Holding space, being present, developing trust, truly listening?
Good coaches can spot incongruities between your body language and your true message. Yes, they sure can!
So surely face to face coaching is better, right?
Don’t get me wrong, I love nothing better than to sit with a woman who I know is smart, sassy and resilient. As her coach, to listen deeply; to question and to reflect. To sit in silence allowing whatever emotions come to the surface to be seen and felt but not dismissed. To watch her beautiful face as the “ah ha” magic hits.
But here’s the thing. As women, we are socialised to moderate our emotions and body language to please, include or comfort the person we are in conversation with. As a listener, if we see sadness, we console. If we see discomfort we step in and soothe. Often my clients are so conditioned to care about what the other person thinks and feels that they will stifle their own emotions in an effort to please me – the person they are paying to listen to them.
Phone coaching cuts through all that nonsense.
No longer do either my client or I have to care about our looks, our body language or whether or not we are smiling enough. In phone coaching, I can comfortably sit in silence as someone writes, thinks, reflects or cries much better than I can when that person is in front of me. My ego totally let’s go of what I should be doing or saying – meaning I can truly listen and I am much less likely to interrupt or offer advice.
The last, but significant difference is that I am much more comfortable giving honest feedback to my clients over the phone. Deeply listening (without the need for appropriate eye contact) allows me to hear the patterns of thoughts that are getting in the way of my client reaching her goal. Challenging these mindsets and limiting beliefs is easier and a great deal more powerful if neither of us have to bother about being “nice”. Clear is kind!
The final joy of phone/online coaching is that we can literally be anywhere in the world with a phone or internet connection and we can meet. You don’t need to leave home or the office to enjoy the benefits of one on one time with me. Close the door, make the call and in one hour you will be more focussed, more energised and ready to take on the world.
One of my clients called it a ‘mental massage’ and another, who entered the call exhausted and overwhelmed sent me this email two hours after our call…
You have got no idea how much you helped me this morning.
I have just looked at the list of 3,000 things my boss expects me to achieve in a week and after speaking to you I have just rung her and asked for two priorities!! It means I can be prepared. I have also narrowed down how many employees I will be working with so we can be effective.
I could not see that before and now I can. I did the “what does this look like if I am successful?” and …?”
Thank you so much. I couldn’t see the woods for the trees and now I can!!
Note: Where possible I meet most of my clients face to face for at least the first session of their coaching, so we get to know each other. However, for many across Australia and around the world this is not possible so we make great use of phone coaching.
Are you ready to gift yourself time and space to think?J