It is hard not to be rocked by the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. It is difficult to fathom what could drive a successful, mature adult to such ends.
I have no answers for you except to check-in on your strong friends, the ones that appear to have their shit together. AND to remember that flourishing, humans, understand instinctively to top-up their own well-being through PERMAH.
P – POSITIVE EMOTION. Finding small doses of joy, hope and optimism in every day, which broadens and builds our psychological resources and resilience.
E – ENGAGEMENT. Finding ways each day to use your strengths to be truly engaged in your work and life. Find out what they are here
R – RELATIONSHIPS. Humans are social and in this busy world you need to work hard at staying connected to your family and friends. Our brains become activated when we feel we are being isolated – from an evolutionary perspective, the worst thing that could happen for our survival is isolation.
M – MEANING. Having purpose and meaning is more important than material wealth or pleasure. Finding ways to, or reminding yourself how, your work impacts others or contributes to the greater good is the key to satisfaction.
A – ACCOMPLISHMENT. Having goals and ambition which drive us to achievement leads to satisfaction and fulfilment. To truly thrive and flourish we need to stretch ourselves to achieve meaningful goals.
H – HEALTH. Are you eating well, moving often and getting enough sleep? All are crucial for healthy minds and healthy bodies.
Even with plenty of things to be grateful for, happiness can be hard for many. We are wired for struggle and our neuro-biology in combination with our lived experiences can make mental well-being a challenge.
“Ask for what you need”
– Brene Brown
Most of the time we will be ok with topping up our own PERMAH through self care, chatting to a girlfriend, tightening our boundaries or stopping to breathe. For the other times, reach out. Tell people what you need.
And if you are feeling great, reach out to a friend you have not heard from for a while – ask what they need.
Take care of yourself.
Take care of each other.
And always seek the help of professions- get the name of a great GP, use your entitlement to counselling sessions through your employer (where available), track down a therapists and talk it out.